I have a few reflections and a new perspective on life now that I’m 32. It’s officially ten years since I entered the workforce as a full-time professional in public relations and I remember the constant self-doubt and anxiety I felt at that time of my life. I was just leaving college life trying to find new friends and build a new network in Lansing. I was broke, navigating this new adult life with student loans, stupid roommates, a job I was trying to figure out if I hated and poor eating habits. I was kind of a hot mess.
Damn, I’m glad I’m 32.
How Things Have Changed for me in my Thirties
One of my favorite things to do now that I’m in my thirties is to turn down parties and events without reason. I just say “no thank you” or “I can’t because I don’t want to” or “No, that day is my planned day at home with no plans.” It’s a magical feeling to just do whatever the fuck it is I want to do. And finally feel guilt-free about it!
Y’all can’t drag me down. I used to get caught up in how people thought of me and how I measured up against others. If a supervisor or boss thought I should do something, I clung to that idea and tried to do whatever it was to “fix” me, when most of the time, it was my personality to be a little more quiet, a little more reserved and only speak when I felt I had something to contribute. I used to get upset if bosses were upset that I couldn’t dream up an idea in a flash during a meeting. I know myself and what I need to succeed–and that I’m capable of succeeding. I just have my own path and tools.
Wear no makeup. This is thanks to a combination of good skin now that acne troubles are a thing of the past and I just have more confidence (and lash extensions.)
Take better care of myself. When I was in high school I ate like shit and it didn’t matter because I had a quick metabolism. Cookies and candy bars were my daily sustenance and now that I’m a little older and wiser, I’ve shaped up my eating quite a bit. I also enjoy working out, taking care of my skin and taking time for myself to relax at home.
Enjoy animals and the outdoors. I grew up around animals and outdoor chores. They were the bane of my existence. And now I enjoy cleaning up my horse’s poop. And all I want now is my own land and little barn.
I can afford shit. I made stupid money decisions in my twenties and I never had anyone to rescue me, unfortunately. The great thing is that I’ve learned from my mistakes and failures and this experience combined with a job I love and a solid income, allow me to indulge in vacations, a handbag and save for things I want like my house.
I appreciate what I have. I had a terrible, consistent and debilitating ability to constantly compare myself to everyone else and what they had–and what I didn’t. This sprouted around middle school and the insecurity and envy reigned until my late twenties. I appreciate my family as a whole no matter who’s in prison or on probation, I admire hot people and no longer feel slighted that I’m not a size zero and I’m happy where I am in life no matter how many romantic relationships come and go and no matter how zig-zaggy my career path has been.